After a break-up, when does a single parent begin to date?        9780825439308-copy-16

Everyone is an example of what to do and what not to do. After watching lots of people frantically shop for another relationship to pop into so they can short-circuit the necessary and beneficial work of healing and becoming a whole person, I recommend the road less traveled.

Get emotionally healthy first. The rule of thumb is that this process requires you to remain single for one year per every four you were married. Don’t date for at least one year. Get comfortable not needing another. Consider raising the children in a focused, balanced, loving single-parent home.

Fresh out of her marriage, a business associate went online to meet someone. “How about you?” she asked. “Found anyone new?”

“Not looking,” I replied. “I’m getting my private pilot’s license.”

Her jaw dropped. “I never thought about doing something like that.”

Look Back: For two years, attend events as a single person. Learn to interact authentically with others. Enjoy being you. One is a whole number.

Move Ahead: What have you always wanted to do? Get your pilot’s license? Dance? Scuba dive? Tour Europe? Cruise Greece? Read the classics? Get a degree? Replace those serviceable curtains you’ve hated for decades? Invite the Lord to be your date and do it.

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves without wondering.          

                                                                                            St. Augustine